


Scatter Like Dust Across the Skies

by JuniorWoofles



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, a tribute to Carrie Fisher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 17:37:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9082615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuniorWoofles/pseuds/JuniorWoofles
Summary: Leia was a queen, a warrior, a leader. She was a candle of hope in the darkness





	

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously, fuck 2016. I am done and I can't do anything anymore except wait for this shitstorm of a year to be over. Writing this is my way of dealing with grief.

At nineteen she watched her world shift. There was a direct split between what was and what would be and that line was a laser beam fired directly upon all she loved. Resolution crumbled as fear was replaced with a grief that rippled through her with a monumental force. Her home, her origins, the haven of her youth and the safe world she knew of was stolen. She watched as it scattered through the stars, disrupted the balance of space, and shattered into dust. She watched her heart shatter right in front of her eyes.

When she was grief-ridden she was strong. She was a woman not to be trifled with; any childish innocence died with her home planet. She could wield a gun and get herself to safety just as well as a farmboy and a smuggler could. She saw more death, saw others watch death in front of their eyes and resisted the pull of grief. She had always been taught to mourn when you'd stopped running and they were still running. But he had not been taught that and he was young and still hurt from the last wound he'd sustained. She could comfort him. She could sit and hug him and imagine that her mother was there to do the same for her. She could imagine she still had a family left to comfort her when she was hurt. She could imagine her family would find her and break down the barriers around her heart she knew she'd already put up. Her head was much too sensible to let her emotions run her imagination for too long. So she did what she always does, she carried on for the rebellion. 

When she was broken inside, sheltering a broken heart, a new family came back for her. A new family found her and broke through to her. They showed her the love that she was craving, they broke their way into her heart as they had down for the literal cell they rescued her from. They rebuild her world, made it better, filled it with hope. They let in the hope she had tried for so long to find and they gave her a family when she thought it was too late. They came back for her, ran back to her, found her again and again. They made her better, because she made them better.

When she was nineteen she thought she was an orphan with no parents and no siblings. She found out the truth. She found her brother, a person she had never known existed and they forged a bond that was never truly broken. She realised why she had always felt alone and why she always felt a slight disconnect from her world. She knew the truth and it didn’t hurt her, joyous news such as this could not have hurt at the time it was presented to her, and the love that she was bearing found a home to flood to. She found her other half, the literal half of her heart, and their family fell into place. They were the same people but now they had each other and they had a new home rebuild from the broken pillars of a slaveboy and a queen. 

She watched hope flutter. She had seen hope flicker like a flame into a new beginning. She had seen hope fail. She had nurtured it and prayed for it and she had let hope guide the battles they fought. She had seen men fall from the sky and planets be blown from existence. She had seen brave creatures take down metal with primitive tools. She had seen cowardly men betray their friends for their people and then fight to fix the errors of their ways. She had seen a family heirloom unknowingly passed down become a friend or companion of sorts. She had seen men grown into the people they were always meant to be. She had seen revelations destroy empires. She had seen love forge a new world. 

She had seen love. She had known love. She had felt the love of a people, of a family, of a brother and of a lover. She had seen how love can be stolen, or corrupted, or flourish. She had seen her family been taken from her again and again and again. She watched her family tear itself apart, while all the while she had to stay strong for the purpose of a rebellion. For the resistance she had to resist the urge to let love tear her apart as it did her families. 

She had felt loss. Felt the Force around her heart tighten in a grief she had not seen. She had known. She felt it break through her and yet she could not break. She still had a family left, a family worth fighting for. This rebellion was not against an empire or a regime. It was always for family. To save her family and bring them together. To save other families from being torn apart as hers had been. She had seen brave soldiers and poor souls die at the ends of power-mad maniacs when there was nothing she could do to save them but hope.

Her family was broken; scattered across the stars. When it was quiet, when they had a safe base, a quiet moment, when the opportunity afforded her the chance to sit and reflect she took it. She closed her eyes and it all played across her eyelids. She saw Alderaan being ripped apart in front of her, because of her. She saw her brother with his lightsabre, taking on a mantle he never expected to have but one he was always destined to. She saw a smuggler grin and saw his principles shift. She saw his shivering body as they collapsed to the floor. She saw the dead bodies she had caused. She saw a small baby in her arms, young and impressionable as all younglings are, but happy and so full of love. She saw defected stormtroopers and brave pilots and lost wanderers who swooped in on ships she never thought she’d see again. She saw the Force singing to her through all of the people who fell into her life. She felt it like a mother, caressing her back and soothing all of her troubles. She felt it like a gentle hum, like an engine starting before it turned into the growl of a Wookie. She heard it as the beep of droids, incessantly comforting and a constant drone of noise. She saw it as a planet torn apart stitching itself back together.

At nineteen she thought she knew what her world was. Her world was dignitaries and rebellions, being trusted with crucial information that was the key to resistance. Now she knows that it was only a beginning, the start of the first chapter after the prologue. Now she knows that this is the epilogue. This is near the end of her story. The Force sang to her and she knows.it. The twin sunsets have long since parted, and she doesn’t know if she’ll see another sunset rise together again. Night has come, a deep curtain of stars and stories. She knows it will be her time soon. Like her planet and her people before her soon she’ll be nothing more than dust scattering amongst the stars. It’s only a matter of time. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry that this is a bit of a mess I just had to get it out. I cried again while writing the ending.


End file.
